Holy Cow (The Fastest run I have done yet)
December 14, 2011

It started off as just another slow jog around the land, little did I know it would become an adventure.

Cows, they are usually placid creatures who are only concerned with cow stuff like:
1. Eating grass
2. Emitting harmful green house gases
3. Being one of the main reasons for speeding up global warming
4. Mating when a bull is put into a field with them (They have no choice if they LIKE their potential mate)
5. Looking after calves
They carrying on with there mundane life day in and day out oblivious to the fact that they do those things and will essentially end up in a pot of stew. That is until you get in-between a Mommy Cow and a Baby one, which I did today; let this be a warning to you all.

4:15pm I set off to do a small 4km run around our top land, I had my Dad’s iPod in and was in a relatively good mood laughing at his not so large selection of music (*NB, the Beach Boys just make you want to get high and do not motivate you to run faster like, at all!).
About 30mins into my run I ran past our local War vets/Squatters/Thieves/Land grabbers/idiots/whatever people call them days. I wondered to myself what they were doing walking on our farm considering with land reform they have stolen half of our farm and well basically they are just NOT welcome on the little bit they didn’t manage to steal from us, anyways, I was listening to the beach boys bro I was totes chilled out, so I thought nothing of it just waved and carried on my merry way.

Running, listening to the Beach Boys, Running, Running, starting to feel the burn in my thighs, Running, talking my self out of not quitting and walking for a bit, Running – (That was what I was doing by the way). I run around the corner and see that the War vets cattle are out!!!! “Chill” I think to myself; “You are a farm girl after all!” so I just kept running after all there are no bulls just cows. Big mistake, Big, Huge.

I am literally running and singing in my head “The East coast girls are hip I really dig the styles they wear la la la la” (California girls by the Beach Boys just F.Y.I) and I see this cow trotting towards me, so I speed up a little bit to get past, as I do her trot turns into a run and I see she is coming straight for me, so I give a little girl scream and sprint faster to get away or like find a tree or run up and anthill or something (In my mind cows cant run up ant hills *face palm*) – Let me remind you I am running around my Dad’s ploughed land ready for a crop to be put in, there are NO trees!!!!!
As I’m sprinting, in sheer panic to get away I see she is still coming towards me and kicking up a whole lot of dust and making a huge show of this charge she doing towards me, I felt like I was legit running 120km/hr but the reality of the situation is I was NOT getting away from a charging cow screaming like I do when I watch horror movies (Also the blonde always dies first – this also flashed through my mind) – I ran like that for like 5 minutes until I looked behind me to “See how close she was to me” to see her standing in the field (looking slightly out of breath I like to think) her baby feeding on her full udders like NOTHING had happened. Then I realize “Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, there is a gate, she couldn’t have been able to get to my anyways” – TOTAL BLONDE MOMENT, upside however, fastest 4kms I have done yet.


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