Taylor Swift. Axe Murderer. Two things you would never expect to hear in the same sentence right? Wrong. This is why, hear me out:
- Pent up anger. The girl is angry, she’s bitter, way more bitter and angry than the average girl her age should be. Warning sign 1.
- She is vocal about her anger. Has history taught us nothing? The openly vocal are hiding a trail of death in their wake while the world looks on obliviously. Case and point, Hitler and the Jews. Warning sign 2.
- Self destructive behaviour. How exactly you ask? She dates notoriously unavailable men, probably in the hope that she can change them; only to land up hurt, depressed and ready to well, kill. Warning sign 3.
- Humans are not possessions Taylor. You cannot own a human, maybe back in the 1700’s but that time has passed and rightfully so, but not for Taylor. Let me take you back to a little song of hers, you probably know of it, it was a No 1 hit. The Lyrics go something like this, “You belong to me. Have you ever thought just maybe, you belong to me? You belong to me” Warning sign 4
- Stalker tendencies. If you date Taylor, know that she will be all up in all your grill, checking your Facebook daily, your Twitter timeline, I bet she is the kind of girl who Google’s boyfriends – She is probably best friend with Carly Rae Jepson and will call you, daily, if you are her baby. Warning sign 5
- Arrogance. Taylor thinks Taylors s**t don’t stink. It is this kind of arrogance that most axe murderer’s posses, it’s also thankfully one of the main reasons axe murderers get caught. They think they are too smart for the police; no one is too smart for the police, not even you Taylor. Warning sign 6
Still think I am crazy?
Makes total sense now, doesn’t it?
I bet you are thinking to yourself, “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”
Next time you hear Taylor Swift on the radio think to yourself, “She is Never ,ever, ever getting back together” with him because, he is chopped into little chunks that are being stored in her deep freeze.
NB: Just for the record, encase this comes back to bite me in the ass – I don’t really think Taylor Swift is a axe murderer…
Images courtesy of: www.fanpop.com & www.polyvore.com