Watermelon Cake cos f**k you carbs
July 3, 2013

Ah Cake – my nemesis.  Gosh, I love Cake I really do, Cake anything, Cake on Cake on Cake is the best kind of Cake, really.

That being said, my metabolism does not allow for copious amounts of cake eating, which frankly I blame my parents for (I guess the thin gene skips a generation, cos it skipped me)

I am rambling, again, sorry (not really)

So, I found this recipe and it’s not cake, but its a cool substitute and it’s totes Paleo too (What! What!)

Watermelon cake


Watermelon Cake Icing


Watermelon Cake Finished


Side note, I stole these pictures because lets be honest – If I made it, it would probably look like road kill, with a half eaten strawberry on top, BUT I am going to ask a friend to make this for me cos I am all about “Outsourcing”

This is what you need to purchase at the shops to make your watermelon dream cake a reality:

1 x large (seedless) watermelon

2 x cans full fat coconut milk (left in fridge for 6 hours or more)

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

1 Tbsp. raw honey

1 cup sliced raw almonds or shredded coconut


To make the coconut whipped cream:

1. Place the can of coconut milk in the refrigerator for at least 6 hours (or overnight). This will cause the cream to separate from the milk. The cream will be at the top of the can.
2. Scrape out the cream into a medium sized bowl. Hint: Open the can from the bottom and pour the milk out into a separate container before scraping out the cream. You can use the saved milk for smoothies and other recipes.
3. Add the vanilla and raw honey to the mixture. Whip the cream with a hand mixer on medium speed and work your way up to high speed until the cream is fluffy. Place the bowl of whipped cream in the fridge until ready to use.

How to make toasted almonds or coconut

Add the almonds or coconut and toss in the pan until they toasted and turn a light brown color. Remove from pan and set aside to cool. – Fucking rocket science, basically

Assemble the cake:

1. Remove the top and bottom from the watermelon and remove the rind from the middle section. You should be left with a cake-shaped piece of watermelon which you then need to cut into slices
2. Pat the outside of the watermelon dry with paper towels (this is important because it will help the coconut whipped cream stick better).
3. Dip the outside edge of each slice into the coconut whipped cream and then into the toasted almonds or coconut, and reassemble the wedges into the cake shape on a serving platter. Top with more whipped coconut cream and your favorite fresh fruit  Serve or store in the refrigerator until ready to serve.

Why don’t I have my own reality cooking show yet? I need answers, universe

Leave a Reply

1 comment

  1. This is pretty cool… I think once I got over the crushing blow of discovering it wasn’t really cake, I might actually enjoy it. If I wasn’t dead from old age at that point.


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