Want to lose ALL your weight in 56 minutes, then try this magic lotion, NOW!
Been struggling at the gym for 4 days and don’t have a 6 pack yet? Try the new 6 ab-tastic machine – just 3 seconds daily and you’ll look like Heidi Klum in a week!
Ok, I am exaggerating – most ads aren’t like this, but they promise things that are never going to be achievable and leave people a fair amount of money poorer and unmotivated when yet another fitness/workout/diet doesn’t work for them
If you have bought any of the following things, this is what I want to do to you
Here are some fitness scams to avoid (in my opinion)
- Balance Bracelets: What a load of bullshit. Really, a bracelet that is going to fix your balance? If you are off-balance, and keep bumping into things here is a suggestion, go and see an ear, nose and throat specialist (ENT) and get your inner ear checked – the only reason you are ever going to be “off-balance” is if you have serious medical condition. This crap that it “aligns your ions” is total crap. I wish I had thought of making a balance bracelet and sold it to millions of stupid people who will spend money on ANYTHING a famous person endorses. You know they get paid for endorsement right? Hell I would endorse Vaginal lube for $5 million dollars. It is scientifically proven that if you are wearing balance bracelet you are an idiot.
- Ab belts – Get the “The Ab Belt by Flex Belt” to firm and strengthen your stomach muscles instantly, you can train your abs by putting on this little beauty EVEN when you are to tired for traditional workout. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Want to know what is going to get you abs? Sit ups and Crunches, and lots of them, its hard work and YOU have to put it in. Strapping on a belt and lying on the couch is NOT going to get you abs! If you bought one of these you are stupid, sorry but you are. It’s like thinking you can go from Grade 1 to A levels without putting in all the hard work in-between. Scam, don’t buy one.
- Vitamin Water – Here have some over priced sugar-water? Its packed with Vitamins, so it HAS to be good for you. Yes it tastes great, no it is NOT going to help you train better – it is a better alternative to Coke however.
- Shake weight – Unless you are a porn star, trying to improve her hand job skills, why are you buying this piece of equipment? Why? Want lean, toned arms well guess what? You have to work for that too, nothing in life is easy. My friend got given one of these by her boyfriend, I am reasonably certain what his motivation was.
- Novelty Diets – As someone who has lost a substantial amount of weight this is my piece of advice, (I got it from Gareth Cliff) and it’s so simple and effective it is scary “Eat less, Run more“, cut down your portion sizes, do more exercise than you usually do and you ARE going to lose weight, trust me on this one. Don’t fall victim to a new diet fad, if it is new it is a lie. The tried and tested diet/lifestyle plans are the ones to go on, because they are just that, tried and tested.
Here is a video of the Shake Weight because it makes me laugh
I may have been harsh, but sometimes you just need to dish out some tough love, don’t fall victim to fitness scams.
Most people with amazing bodies have them because they work very hard for them, some are “Just born that way” and yes, we hate them for it, but some people are just lucky.
Workout. Get results. It’s that simple