So, there are some things I am really bad at, like:
2. Saying no
3. Small talk
However there are somethings I am really good at:
1. Losing weight
2. Eating cake (does not go well with no.1)
3. Making inappropriate jokes
5. Finding the hottest guy in a room at a moments notice and then ignoring him completely so he knows I love him.
So, I don’t think I every really grasp how much weight I have lost – 50kgs. It is a lot.
I know everyone is like, “You must feel different” – I genuinely don’t.
The only time I realise things have changed is when I look at my face when I was fat compared to now. It is crazy I know, but you can lose all the weight in the world if you don’t deal with your issues then you will just be thin with issues which as I know so very well just means that people are nicer to you and don’t mind sitting next to you on planes. People are weird.
Things that still happen in my world:
I still get super self conscious wearing tight clothing,
I still assume people are looking at me because I am big (Big, I hate that word so much.),
I still don’t talk to cute boys because “Who would be interested in the fat girl” is still the first thing that comes into my head,
I still obsess about food (just now I know what is good for me, and what is bad and I know how much to eat),
I still would rather be on the couch instead of at the gym,
I still can’t believe I went from a size 24 into these size 12 pants (a 12, I mean !!!!!!!!). I don’t even care that a size 12 isn’t considered “thin” because when I first started out I just wanted to fit into a size 18 pair of jeans, hell I just wanted to wear jeans.
I still feel fat, 98% of the time,
I still think to myself, “Maybe when I am thin this will happen, or if I was thin this wouldn’t have happened etc”
I still have a fat heart though (that I hope never changes)
Losing weight is easy, losing the weight of the world is the hard part ya’ll – that being said you all keep on keeping on, I may not have dealt with all my issues but, I will tell you this much I am 110% happier when I am fit and healthy that when I was fat and couldn’t walk up the stairs without having an asthma attack.